Raa!!! I am Porgblaa, the Evil Prince of Goblin Night!!! See my lethal pointy claws and Goblin snout!!!
See my Goblin Hat - it is an Evil Hat, with many evil powers. I know it looks like a plastic cullander, but it's not, it's an Evil Goblin Hat.
I am coming!!! I am coming for your children!!! I come in the night and swipe children from their beds!!! No one can stop me !!! (apart from the police and their silly restraining orders)
I live next to an Industrial Estate in Hull. I moved here because I thought the Estate Agent said, 'Hell' - and as I am the Ruler of the Seventh Sphere of Hell, it seemed like an appropriate place to move to.
Unfortunately, it's not Hell, it's Hull. It's worse than Hell. It's basically a big pile of shit with some buildings on top.
And to top it all off , the housing market is dreadful here - I've already got negative equity, so I won't be able to leave for at least ten years.
But one day I shall escape, and then I shall come and kill you all!!!
I like Scrabble. I am the King of Scrabble!!! If you don't let me win, I disintegrate your head with my firey Goblin breath!
I have an Evil MySpace Page!!! I will use Myspace to spread Evil and kill everyone in the world!!! Visit it at your peril!
www.myspace.com/goblinlordporgblaa
Oh, bollocks, I've got ketchup on my cape. It's the Evil Cape of Mongrial and you can't clean it with conventional washing powders. I'll have to take it to the dry-cleaners.
One day soon I will come for your soul!