That's because I plan to meet and marry the most funniest beautifulest boy in Hollywood, Jason Biggs!!!
If you're reading this, Jason Biggs - hello!!! I love you, Jason Biggs!!! Go and look at my other Jason Biggs page - www.myspace.com/helenboobis
Look at Jason Biggs's smiling face on the front of this 'American Pie - the Wedding' video. He's so cute and funny, with his light-hearted buffoonery and merry pastry-based pranks!!!
I have digitally re-mastered my copy of Jason Biggs' American Pie: The Wedding' video, so that my face appears on top of that of silly Alison Hannigan, so that it looks like it's me marrying Jason Biggs!!!
I have also digitally re-mastered the original 'American Pie' video, so that my face appears on the top of the pie, so that it looks like Jason Biggs has sex with my face!!! I bet you like the sound of that, don't you, Jason Biggs!!!
When I'm not busy decorating my rooms with photographs of Jason Biggs, I work in finance. I'm very good at drawing graphs and charts. In fact, graphs and charts are my second-favourite thing, after Jason Biggs.
My favourite type of graph or chart is, of course a pie chart, because Jason Biggs makes love to a pie in his 'American Pie' film.
I'm quite good at making pies. I practice making them every day, in preparation for when I'm married to Jason Biggs. I once tried to make a pie with a big courgette in it, so that I could make love to it , but it didn't work as when the courgette was cooked it went soft and it just broke in half.
Ok, I'm going to make another pie. I might try using a carrot this time.
Before I go, here is a graph I drew to work out the probability of my meeting and marrying Jason Biggs:
