Woof! I'm Billy the dog! In case you hadn't guessed, I'm a dancing dog!

I dance for my supper, I dance for my life, I dance for Tommy Leghorn, who pretends I am his wife (That's a little poem - I it wrote myself).

Sometimes it makes me sad that Tommy Leghorn only loves me for my dancing skills, but one day I hope to become the winner of the Pilkington dance contest and then maybe Tommy will stop pretending that I am his dead wife, and will love me for who I am.

The only trouble is, that man Pedro Sombrero keeps beating me in the Pilkington dance contest. He trained with Jennifer Lopez. What hope does a little dog like me have against that sort of skill? Jennifer Lopez is said to have a secret magical powers, which she stores in her rear. Any man exposed to her ass-magic will become an unbeatable dance champion.
Billy the dog

That's why, whenever I see someone with a big behind, I run up and bite them on the ass, in the hope that they will turn out to be Jennifer Lopez and I will get some of the J-Lo Ass Magic.

Unfortunately, so far, I've just got myself into trouble for biting lots of innocent bystanders on the bum, and Tommy has threatened to have me put down. I'm doing it for you, Tommy, don't you realise?

Right, I have to go now. I need to work on my foxtrot. Why not check out my MySpace page: www.myspace.com/billyleghorn

Woof!